Towels and A Sabbatical Year
My 40th birthday is right around the corner and I’m
getting a crazy, scary gift.
For the last year, we’ve been really looking at the life we
are living… and have found it wanting. Wanting of time, energy, space. We’ve found ourselves in dear relationships and
opportunities but not the resources to love and serve well. We are just too busy. Too spread thin. Too busy navigating the maze of American
Normalcy.
We want to think. We
want to learn. We want to live
purposefully and steadfastly. We want to
have time to seek after God and not be weighed down by things of this earth. We
want to care for our extended family and neighbors and friends with abandon.
For each family, this might look differently of how we get
there. For our family, it means
downsizing. It means exchanging our
large house and yard for more time. It means
exchanging our job security for breathing room.
It means exchanging our routines for faith. It means letting go and going.
Well, truth be told – we don’t exactly know what it really
looks like. We don’t know what the other
side will hold. But, we know that God
knows and that He is working out everything for our good – but more importantly
for His Glory.
The first step is the stuff.
The physical stuff around us.
This is unbelievably hard. This
morning I cried over towels. Yes, I have enough for a family of 12 and we
are only a family of 2. I am having to
trust the Lord with my towels – which really means trusting Him with my heart –
holding on to the Truth that He will provide what we need, should it mean that
we need a gazillion more towels. I can
share my towels knowing that God takes care of even the mundane.
The second step is to step away. This summer we’ll be moving to Virginia for a
year’s sabbatical. We are moving to my
husband’s aunt’s
farm. Although we won’t
be farming, we will help her clean up, tear down, and figure out some things on
the property. But, during this time of
physical labor – we will also have time to think. To study.
To pray. To write. To examine.And even though sorting out my towels seems overwhelming right now – I know it is nothing compared to the sorting out the Lord is going to do in us during our time in Virginia. We are asking the Lord to speak into every corner of our existence and say to our souls, “I am your Salvation” (Psalm 35:3).
It’s a grab-bag of emotions right now. Some days I pull out the ticket that says
Oooh! An Adventure! Other days I pull out the ticket that says We
Are Crazy! Some days I pull out the
ticket that says I Can’t Wait! Today I’ve
pulled out the ticket I Wish I Knew What Was On The Other Side! Some days I pull out every ticket in the bag.
The One Thing we know for sure is that we have a good, kind,
and faithful God who desires to be first in our hearts and minds. We want to know more of Him and less of us.
And today that means letting go of some towels.
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