Marriage Advice
In
person, I will be happy to tell you about all the marriage advice I
took to heart as a 36 year-old-bride. And then I can easily tell you
how each of them one-by-one bombed on my new husband. And then I can
laugh with you as I confess how over-dramatically I thought I was
failing because this advice was backfiring.
Each
marriage is different. Each marriage arrives with two sets of
sinful, selfish, doe-eyed people in love with themselves and the idea
of what marriage should look like. And of course, there is some good
advice thrown in with the myriad of advice that will suffocate both
of you with strategies.
The
best advice you will hear is this: Live like Scripture tells you to.
Ummm…
that's it? No tips on who takes out the trash? No meeting your
husband at the door in something ooo-la-la-ish? Just the Bible?
It
might not create sell-out seminars, but the Word of God does speak
life into marriage. Be warned… if you approach it with a “what's
in it for me” question, you'll walk away disappointed. If you want
to fix your spouse, you'll get frustrated. If you are at all are looking
for your husband to meet your needs or fill your love-tank, I'm
sorry. You're at the wrong place.
But,
if you want joy in serving your husband and enjoying how God is
working in His life, here it is. If you want your Eternal Husband to
be the light of your life and then that love overflow into your
marriage, this is for you. If you are tired of fighting for your own
rights, your own feelings, your own self-satisfaction, this is where
you need to be. If being the Perfect Wife isn't all it's cracked up
to be, you will find rest.
A
Biblical Marriage isn't one that is easy or self-glorifying… but it
is a place of growth and grace.
Just
look at this verse from 1 Peter 3:8.
... all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy,
brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.
Paul
has just been talking about how husbands and wives are to interact
with each other. And then to both of them he gives this charge.
What
if we prayed for our marriage through these five things? Over
the next five days, we'll walk through each of them.
Unity
of Mind
Other
places this is translated as being in harmony with others. That
makes complete sense when you see the Greek word: homophrōn.
God
knows this is impossible. Really, He does. So, He is the One who is
going to make it happen. Look at how Paul describes the One who is
giving you the capabilities in
Romans 15.
Paul knows it is hard, and he's reminding you that God is bigger
than the discord in your marriage.
In
this text, he
is talking to the Church, a group of rag-tag believers who need to
grow in their love and faith. And isn't your marriage a part of
that? Aren't you both tied to Christ? Then, if God is giving unity
of mind to you as part of the Church, wouldn't that overflow into
your marriage?
And
here
we find
the purpose of your marriage itself. If it is to make you look good,
feel good, or any variation of glorifying your self – then it's not
measuring up to what God desires of your life: to glorify
Him.
Let's
encourage each other to pray for our marriages to be chocked full of
unity.
Lord,
I thank you for being the God of endurance… of sticking with me and
walking through every valley with me. Thank you for giving me
endurance when I am so tired. Thank you for the encouragement You
give through Your Word and Your Spirit. Please, Lord, I cannot come
up with this harmony on my own. I can pretend. When things are
going well, it feels natural, but then the second something stressful
comes up, my own version of harmony blows away. Bring a real, rich
harmony to our marriage because of Jesus. Unite us as one because we
are both clinging to Jesus. He is our Hope. He is what gives us our
Salvation. Please, let our marriage glorify You. I want it to be
happy and strong so that I feel safe, Lord. I confess, that my
comfort is more appealing than our worship. Please give us a strong
voice of unity in our marriage so that we can glorify You.
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